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Doing it wrong is the only thing I do right.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
The amount of times I`ve had to say no to the Adobe Updater has totally prepared me to be a parent.
I don`t really want to make bad choices; but I`m always late, and all the good choices are already taken..
Trying to learn Mandarin Chinese but the amount of money I`m spending on fortune cookies is getting ridiculous.
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
Do women know that it`s perfectly legal to apply makeup at home before they get in their car?
When I was six, my dad threw me into the pool thinking I would instantly learn to swim. I probably would if it had water in it.
Eat breakfast: Check...Pay Phone: Check...Conquer the world: Still Pending...
joined a nudist colony last week ... the first few days were the hardest!
I never thought I’d be the kind of person who’d wake up early in the morning to exercise... and I was right.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
Without coffee, I’m just a really tall 2 year old.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
I used to think I was good at multi-tasking. Turns out it’s just my multiple personalities doing one task at a time.