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My top 5 exercises: -Jumping to conclusions -Flying off the handle -Carrying things too far -Dodging responsibilities -Pushing my luck
There is nothing more annoying than a couple who just got back from vacation.
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...
It`s not karma, you`re just an idiot.
If you`re not the lead dog, the scenery never changes!
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
How do you get holy water? Boil the hell out of it.
"This is so wrong," I say excitedly, my heart racing, my hands trembling.. as I butter a doughnut
funny status idea: a funny and popular one