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Im a leader not a follower... unless its a dark place then f*ck that your going first!
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
I love to do housework in the nude. Unfortunately for the neighbours, today I`m roofing.
Yesterday I jokingly asked my wife what she was burning for dinner. Turns out it was all my personal belongings.
Turtle: I`m the slowest. Snail: No, me. Internet Explorer: Bitch, please
This "NORMAL" you speak of, doesn`t sound fun at all.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills or cleaning up their kid’s vomit.
The guy that figured out babies instinctively hold their breath under water probably had a lot of explaining to do.
The more I drink the better my Idea`s seem to get.
The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.
Nobody tell my husband that "year round periods" aren`t a thing.
Fun Game: Walk down a hallway with both arms outstretched to the walls while shouting, "Hug me or turn around!!!"
U.S.A.... where people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke
I always win at chess ... by hitting my opponent with a brick.
People with no money sure do have a lot of pot.