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I just can`t help it ... Sarcastic bitch is built-in.
The problem with frozen yogurt is that it`s not ice cream.
some people just need a high-five......in the face......with a chair!
Alcoholic? No. Self-appointed booze quality control technician? Yes.
Normal trees probably look at Christmas trees all dolled up and think .. "Whore"
Nothing tests that whole "for better or worse" thing like the question "does this look infected?"
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
I wouldn`t mind all the penis enlargement emails if they weren`t coming from my wife.
Cocaine dealers are always trying to stick their business in other people`s noses.
My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I`m proud of him, I doubt he`ll make a lot of sales in the backyard.
Why is it Donald Duck never wore pants but always had a towel wrapped around his waist when he got out of the shower?
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She`s 97 today and we don`t know where the hell she is.
I could never trust a psychic who hasn`t won the lottery at least once.