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I think I need to return my GPS...no matter what it can`t help me find easy street
Never assume coz u wil make an "ass" out of "u" and "me"
I`m ashamed of what I did for a Klondike bar.
when is humpty dumpty going to hatch?
Don`t get me started Bitches, I don`t come with brakes.
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
Never trust a married guys opinion of who`s hot. It`s like asking a starving guy what food tastes good.
Why can`t the ice cream man just get a freakin liquor license already
Lesson Learned: I poured bleach on the asshole that cut me off at the self-checkout. According to the cop, I misunderstood asshole bleaching.
Can anybody PLEASE tell me where you buy Common Sense?? I know several people that need some!!!
In the interest of improving the workplace, my company has put up signs that say: CAUTION. OPEN DOORS SLOWLY ... My best time so far is 7 min.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
If your conspiracy theory doesn`t involve cats and dogs, don`t bother me.
Iām bored. Anyone need anything avenged?