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If you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I can`t wait to meet that special someone who will eventually ignore me.
I think stupid people were put on this planet to test my anger management skills.
sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
good boys go to heaven bad boys go every where
Cops don’t like it when they tell you to put your hands up in the air...then you wave them like you just don’t care.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you’re on.
$5.99 Trojan condoms or $19.99 Huggies diapers. Choose wisely...
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
Keep your friends close and your fat friends closer, because snacks.
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
First you told me to be myself now you`re telling to me not be an idiot. Make up your mind woman!
Keep up the good work, people who make free porn available.