Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
Sorry, I can`t today ... My sister`s friend`s mother`s grandpa`s brother`s grandson`s cousin`s uncle`s fish died. Yes, it was tragic.
Now that the Summer is over, I can finally stop pretending to be on a diet
Hey ladies, I just love "Austrailian" kissing...it`s a lot like "French" kissing only Down Under!
I got pulled over for drunk driving last night... In my defense I didn`t even know I was driving.
Remember when AT&T told you to "reach out and touch someone" and you ended up with that restraining order? ... Good times!
I swear... my remote just decides to take random vacations sometimes.
Was just thinking …. What would the world be like if McDonalds delivered?
I didn`t mean to offend you, that was just a bonus.
It`s always nice to be called Pretty in the morning. So what if he was hiding behind the trash wearing no pants.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said "Do one thing every day that scares you" and that`s why I weigh myself in the mornings.
I know 3 facts about you: 1.You can’t say ‘M’ without your lips touching. 2.You’re trying it now looking like an idiot. 3. Now you’re smiling
Ladies, stop looking for a guy to sweep you off your feet. Sweeping is your job
Thanks to Netflix I can tell my doctor I`ve done a lot of "marathons"
Sent an email to my Mom. Now I`m at her place showing her how to open it.