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They call themselves independent women until furniture needs to be moved
I wouldn’t have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity.
If this world got any smaller I`d probably fall off - George T. Ignace
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
But in my most troublesome times, I looked down and saw only one set of footprints. I asked the Lord why, and He replied that sand people ride single file to hide their numbers.
I neither like nor want to date Taylor Swift, but I know at some point it’ll just be my turn.
Sometimes I order fajitas at a restaurant just to get more attention.
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
Hand dryers are a great way to see how your hands look while skydiving.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Vodka isn`t the answer... but it makes you forget the question :P
Rumors are like fires. No one admits to starting them and before you know it, they`re out of control.
Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for 2.