Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Life was much simpler when we could play a friendly game of Red Rover and just clothesline the people we didn’t like.
Instead of cars warning us of stupid things, like the door is open, it should tell us useful things, like there`s a cop hiding in the bushes
Maybe the reason Uncle Phil hated Will was because the first thing Will gave him was a $3700 cab ride bill from Philly to Bel-Air.
I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
"Dont make me regret this!" is something I say to myself every time I accept a facebook friendship from a relative.
I have a stalker. Everywhere I go, she`s always there, 10 paces ahead of me...
I got this weird condition where I drink a case of beer and fall down.
Every load of laundry that I wash, dry, fold, and put away makes nudists seem less crazy.
I’m surprised more people don’t Photoshop a cleaner house into the background of their pictures.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
Bicyclists, it`s one thing to hog the road, but it`s quite another to expect us to know your fancy hand signals. Also, I can see your balls.