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I sometimes goto Starbucks for coffee and tell them my name is Bueller ... Then leave before my coffe is ready
Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!
Perfect relationships exist in thoughts, movies, and Facebook timelines.
You and I are just different. And by different I mean you`re stupid.
I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
How did Mexico keep enough people from crossing the border to field a full soccer team?
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
If you have fewer than 25 FB friends. Please unfriend me because thats just embarassing and I dont want to be on your "loser" list.
Wouldn’t exercise be more fun if calories screamed while you burned them?
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
There’s so many people I’d love to get the silent treatment from
Holiday cards, when you care enough to let friends, family, customers & clients see how your handwriting hasn`t improved since fourth grade.
I don`t know what I would do without Facebook, but I`m sure it would be something more productive
Unless my horoscope says, "You will dread going to work and will most likely masturbate," then it is a crock of sh*t.
If there is such thing as a fake noodle, does that make it an impasta?