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First fart at my new job.
My fantasy is having two women at once...One Cooking, One Cleaning.
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
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I`m not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
people live & people die, but in the the end we still get high.. so if in life you dont succeed, F*CK it All & smoke some WEED ?
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Men are a lot like kids, if you want to shut them up, put a boob in their mouth.
What if plants could talk but they are still in shock from seeing the dinosaurs?
This Halloween, the only Candy I`m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
The most frightening thing about nightmares is realizing that they were created by your mind.
Excellent Group Ice Breaker: Do you think sailors feel pressured to swear?
Some people walk into your life and leave footprints on your heart. Some people walk into life and make you want to leave footprints on their face
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.