Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilarious!
The face jewelry is getting out of hand. I saw a guy today that looked like he had done a face plant in a tackle box.
The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won`t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game and I`ll play mine.
Some days Iād like to take a chainsaw and cut a few branches off my family tree.
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
"Hey, man, just called to see when you`re going to commercial. Now? Ok, us too." -Radio Stations
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
Uses 3 gallons of water to rinse out yogurt container so it can go into recycling bin
I knew we were gonna be friends when you ran into that wall.
I`ll never forget the first time we met. Although, I will keep trying.
I think I speak for everyone here when I say "I haven`t the slightest idea as to where my life is headed"
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
I have a tattoo of a gigantic bruise on my left ankle in case anyone ever asks me to go hiking. Or help them move.
You know that look women get when they want sex ? ..........me neither.
Just backed into a Jaguar but I left him a note on my bank statement so he knows not to bother calling