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The more you know. Daylight Savings started back in 1964 when Jerry Daylight Savings was an hour late for work & convinced his boss all the clocks were wrong.
363 shopping days `til Christmas and some people already have their lights up.
I may or may not have just tried unlocking the wrong car for 15 minutes.
I often worry about the safety of my children ... Especially the one who is talking back right now.
I really like compliments but I don`t want anyone talking to me...
Am I the only one that always puts my wallet back into my pocket before getting my change back?
Wouldn`t it be awesome if MTV had a show called "16 and Applying to Colleges"
I`m reading a book on anti-gravity. It is impossible to put down.
You couldn`t handle me even if I came with instructions.
Free snow at my house. Shovel all you want!
Karma means I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I treated badly had it coming.
Having to cash in my State Quarter Collection`s map for gas money is reaching a new low.
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
Never ask a woman who is eating ice cream straight from the carton how she’s doing.
Due to political correctness issues, "Krazy Glue" will now be known as "Mental Disorder Glue."