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People who can finish a shampoo bottle at the same time as their conditioner are truly ninja`s.
I would like to discuss tennis but I wouldn`t want to cause a racket
If you ask me, every Friday is a Good Friday.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
FYI: You can`t beat rock-paper-scissors with yourself in the mirror.
I`d like to read an obituary that says "He laid down the boogie and played that funky music till he died."
If people could read my mind, I’d get punched in the face a lot.
If a clown farts, does it smell funny?
I would not mind living next to a serial killer. They never kill the neighbor. He`s the one that`s always on the news later saying "He was a quite guy, never really talked to anyone." Wait a minute ... I don`t talk to my neighbors!
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
Before you have any hope for the future of humanity, come and look at how this guy parked.
Kids today will never know the frustration of having to rewind their dads porn tapes to the exact same spot...
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
I don’t care what women say, size matters in bed. The bigger the bed the more room you have to move around.
Sometimes the most spiritual thing you can do is go to bed.