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Boobs are a lot like train sets, they were meant for kids, but dad always ends up wanting to play with them.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
Just pour the coffee and back away slowly.
You should always love a woman for her personality. We have so many to choose from.
This week’s weather forecast: Sweaty underboobs.
Sorry just got your text. Do you still need to go to the hospital?
Day 8. You should be thankful that I`m medicated
Why is it that when my wife refers to her friends as "girlfriends" its normal but when i call my male friends "boyfriends" i lose my friends?
the only correct answer to are u ticklish? is i have explosive diareha right now
Don’t believe everything you think.
Sometimes you have to photoshop your life. Touch up edges, adjust the tones, blur the background, focus on yourself & crop some people out.
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
You know you`ve reached adulthood when your bed is in the middle of the wall instead of in the corner.
There are only 53 days until Christmas... just a heads-up in case you haven`t shopped for me yet.
When 12 year old girls call each other honey and sweet heart...