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I have no words to describe this day. I do however have a number of obscene gestures that would work.
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
I only drank twice last week....Once for three days and once for four days
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Heard you like bad boys .... Well, I`m not trying to impress you or anything, but when Disney Channel asked me to go to their website with my parents permission, I didn`t ask my parents.
Flight to Vegas...guy in front of me has a bouquet made up of dollar bills. Pro Tip: That stripper will never marry you bro.
Why does everybody call it a "hot water heater?" It`s really a cold water heater.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
Can we just call it Zealand now? How long has it been? Move on people.
I don`t normally poop with the door open, but I don`t want to miss the in flight movie
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
Apparently people will pay to be subjected to medieval torture devices if you call the place a "gym."
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
My decision making skills closely resemble that of a squirrel when crossing the street.
Ever wish the choice you made and the “right thing to do” were the same thing?