Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Today is one of those “yeah, I’m not getting anything done” kind of days.
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
9 out of 10 doctors will agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.
I was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer.
Video games are cool because they let you experience fantastical power-fantasies. for example in The SIMS you have a job and a house.
1 in 5 bosses will let you leave work early if you claim to have `lady problems` then start crying. It works even better for guys.
I`m celebrating 1 year of sobriety today ... I think it was 1989 ... Cheers!
I have a tremendous sex drive ... My girlfriend lives 25 miles away.
I think it’s pretty cool how Chinese people made a language made entirely out of tattoos.
Well I made it through the day without beating anyone with a chair. I`d say my people skills are improving.
We all have that one friend that needs to learn how to whisper.
I hate it when I see some old person and then realize that we went to school together
I can`t relate to people who "forget to eat"
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.