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Maybe teenagers just aren`t strong enough yet to remove the sticker from their hat
i joined new gym yesterday. i did 3 sets of selfies on each machine
I love that sound you make when you shut the hell up.
Women spend more time thinking about what men think than men actually spend thinking.
I give myself the best presents.
I`ve come to believe that everyone on Earth could benefit from a 12 step program.
If it defies all logic, and makes very little sense then it was probably my idea...
Deep down I don`t believe that paper beats rock.
When I`m in a good mood I act like I`m I`m in a bad mood so nobody approaches me and ruins my good mood.
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
I`m giving up procrastination for Lent ... starting tomorrow.
you know you have a kid personality when you think step brothers is the greatest movie ever.
My memory foam has amnesia
Doing donuts in the parking lot sounds fun. Eating donuts in the parking lot sounds better.