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I hate situations where I have to acknowledge the people I had been successfully ignoring.
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
Immature >>> A word boring people use to describe fun people..
If I were invisible I`d go beat up a street mime...the applause he would get would be incredible
I don`t think we do get smarter as we get older. I just think we run out of stupid things to do.
When my kids ask what a word means, I tell them to bring me a dictionary. Then I smack them with it, and tell them to Google that shi t.
When I become famous I`m not going to tell anyone.
Today, I`m really gonna give it my nothing
Don`t mix Viagra with Iron Supplements. It will cause you to spin around and point north.
Well h€ll, I was going to post a status about my p€cker, but it was too long.
I`ve accidentally swallowed a load of scrabble pieces.........My next poop could spell trouble.
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
I put the PRO in inappropriate!
Sex-ed classes in school should just be listening to a baby cry for six straight hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.