Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If it walks like a duck and it looks like a duck, the chances are she`s practising for her next selfie
It hurts when you go to unfriend someone and you find they`ve beat you to it!
As a man I am so thankful I don`t have to give birth. I could never go nine months without drinking.
I was sad, because I had no shoes. Until I met a man that had no feet. So, I took his shoes, cuz hey, he wan`t using them anyway!
I was just chatting with my cat about how being lonely can make a person crazy.
Calling someone a drama queen is so negative. Why not "content creator"?
the ulitmate moment is when your identical twin says your ugly
Relationship Status: eating
Dating a single mother.... It`s like continuing from somebody else`s saved game.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
I`m absolutely nailing this "I give a sh!t" face today!
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!
Oops, I must have put my personalities on "shuffle"