Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My mother always told me to never quit something I`m good at. So here is to her for making me realize that i`m good at being drunk!
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
when girls say bye .......... may be it means buy something for her.....
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
I love facebook... It`s the only place where I can talk to a wall and not look like an idiot...
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was “reduced fat” so basically it was like going to the gym.
When one door opens & another one closes, your fricking house is HAUNTED!
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
Before coffee: Hates everybody. After coffee: Feels good about hating everybody.
I could snap at any moment. Seriously, with either hand.
Depending on how you look at it, half of 8 could be 4, 3, or 0.
"You only live once" is also an equally compelling reason not to do something extreme or stupid.
Who says I can`t relate to today`s youth? I overheard a teenager saying he loved "riding on E" and I was like "I totally get it, gas is so damn expensive".
ATM`s need to have breathalyzers.