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Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Look up from your phone… There’s some life going on around you.
Not sure if my dog is barking for no reason or I’m about to be murdered.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
I’m a proud supporter of messy hair and sweatpants.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Life Rule #17: Always hold out your hand when someone is counting money in front of you, ...just incase.
When grown-ups tell kids they have a lot of energy, they really mean that they’re being annoying little bastards.
I don`t have a police record ... but I think I do have a Sting cd around here somewhere.
I just took the "What Kind of Asshole are You?" quiz and got "The kind that posts my results on Facebook".
Got a new blood pressure monitor, says it turns off after 6 minutes of inactivity .....
Alcohol doesn`t get people drunk, people get people drunk. Drunk people get other drunk people extra drunk.
I`m tired of hearing about Republicans this and Democrats that. For Christ`s sake people, don`t you realize on July 15th the Twinkie comes back?!?!?!?!
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.