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Sometimes late at night, I dig a hole in the back yard to keep the nosey neighbor`s guessing.
It must be really hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest because I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
I hear my ex is now into orgies, or at least that`s what the Craigslist ad I just posted on her behalf said.
I don’t understand how my house gets so messy when I literally sit in one spot with my phone all day.
Why doesn’t The Rock just tell us what he’s cooking? I can’t pair wines like this.
I was shocked when I heard the local Radio Shack is closing. Mostly because I had no idea we had one.
Brains are awesome! I wish everyone had one...
Just saw a cop that had a U-Haul pulled over on the side of the road. Obviously he was trying to bust a move.
I understand vampires being invisible in mirrors, but what the hell happens to their clothes?
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.
Some people should come with subtitles.