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Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
To the guys complaining about lack of sex from their woman: supply & demand. Supply better product, they`ll demand it more. -Bfanch
+ if you wish you could record your dreams.
It’s not that I’m old, your music really does suck.
My internet goes out more than I do.
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
What if the weather talks about us?
1st thing I do after great sex! Turn the alarm clock off.........
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
I am not sure, but I think I just heard my cup of coffee say, "You are my b*tch"
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
i used to like you but thanks to facebook i now know how boring u are
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
The only difference between McDonald`s and my work is McDonald`s has only got one clown running the show.