Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I cannot even begin to imagine the conversation that led to the first circumcision.
My doctor said if I wanna drop a few pounds I`d have to stay away from carbs. So I`ve been using this insanely long straw to drink beer
Black Friday is Americas version of running with the bulls.
Whenever I see a hot girl on the streets I`m like HOLY CRAP I`M OUTSIDE.
Just when you think you have the answer a woman will be there to change the question.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
A new study found that legalizing marijuana in Colorado has created more than 10,000 jobs...by keeping Taco Bell open 24 hours.
Rock bottom is when you get dinner at the same place you buy your gas.
If by `the Hamptons` you mean `my pajamas`, then yes, I absolutely weekend in the Hamptons
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Just bought an exercise bike today because my treadmill works fine for laying my pants on, but it won`t accommodate hanging shirts on hangers.
I feel bad for the photons that travel 93 million miles from the sun and then have to bounce off your stupid face.
Nobody really dates anymore. You just make eye contact, text, hang out, and next thing you know all her clothes are in your closet....
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
I`ve just been watching a documentary on marijuana...... I think all documentaries should be watched this way.