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Just saw someone holding a sign that said "Honk 2 impeach Obama" You`d think the process to impeach a president would be more complicated
If it weren`t for WebMD I would have never known what symptoms to mimic so I could get all these prescriptions from my doctor.
You call the shots. I`ll drink them.
I drive everywhere but for some reason my shoes still wear out, it’s like there’s just no reward for laziness.
In relationships, it’s important to pay attention to the person’s likes and dislikes. My parole officer, for example, hates to be tickled.
If you check Page 4, Paragraph 16, Subsection (d), right after the section on Video Game usage, but before the Book Report Procrastination provision and the No Face Piercings, Ever Amendment , you will that see that I am, in fact, and I quote: "the boss of you."
I`ve seen more pins in the last few days then stone cold steve austin on groundhog day..
I thought a vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant but apparently it only changes the color of the baby.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
Women say they want a guy who can make them laugh. I`d probably have done better if they`d specified that they didn`t mean by tickling.
Dyslexics are teople poo.. :|
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
It must be exhausting being offended by everything.
The weather is so nice. I think I’ll go outside and watch other people run.