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Two girls riding their bikes on a cobble stone road. 1st girl: I never came this way before. 2nd girl: Me neither. It must be the cobble stones.
I just started dating a homeless girl and it`s great! When I take her home, I can drop her off anywhere I want.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
I love a woman in uniform. I mean naked.
Men also have feelings. For example, we can feel hungry.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Does this 50 pound bag of cat food make me look single?
"I can`t believe it`s not clutter." ~ A recovering hoarder
If one teacher cannot teach every subject, then how come one student is expected to learn all the subjects.
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
I am NOT high maintenance, I simply have more preferences than most.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
my girlfriend asked me to go to the store and pick her up 50 shades of grey, she was pretty mad when i brought home 50 tubes of lipstick.
Based on my reaction to toast popping out of a toaster, I’d like to recommend you never throw me a surprise party.
I´m up way too early for someone who wasn´t planning on seizing the day.