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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
My wife looks for signs I’m cheating, but seriously, who would make a sign?
Don`t tell me I look tired unless you`re offering to carry me
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
I’m going to the gym because I heard they have free weights. I wonder how many they’ll let me take?
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
The list of things I won’t eat if covered in chocolate gets smaller everyday.
I’m not getting old. I’m becoming a classic.
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.
Grabbed Pizza Roll. Thought "my god that is so hot it`s burning my fingers" and immediately popped it in my mouth ... I`m a goddamn genius.
People that do stuff- what’s your secret?
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!
For once I would like to see a horoscope that says, "You`re totally f*cked this month"