Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
They should turn off Netflix at 1:00am for people with jobs and no willpower....bastards
The older the Facebook post, the creepier your “like” becomes.
Apparently I pack an apple in my 5 year old`s lunch so it can get out of the house for a few hours.
I told my daughter we might be getting a blizzard and she asked for one with Reese`s pieces
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
"I just launched a new fragrance!" - a great way to announce a fart
I don’t even know what I don’t know.
When I say I like to travel, I really just mean I like to get drunk in different places.
I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is “love,” but it’s actually “floor”
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
I just got this sudden urge to do something productive. Wait nope, false alarm.
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. I use coupons to get pizza.
People go to the bar hoping for 2 things...to get hammered or to get nailed.
Politeness has become so rare, that some people mistake it for flirting.