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When`s it gonna be the 4th of July? I feel like blowin somethin` up and not gettin` arrested.
If you think your having a bad day ... You could be digging your own grave at gun point and find buried treasure.
It`s great how you have legs that can take you away from a conversation when you don`t feel like listening to people anymore
Iām eating just in case I get hungry later
So how old does a highway have to be before you tell him he`s adopted?
If you ever feel sad and blue, just remember that somewhere in the world, there`s a fat kid who just dropped his ice-cream.
Save water. Shower with me. ;)
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
I just found love.....its on page 369 in dictionary
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
Sometimes I can`t figure out if I`m in pre-school... high school.. oh wait, I`m at work.
I had a wet dream about you last night. Yeah, I was drowning you in a lake.
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
My IQ? ... With google or without?
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.