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Ziploc`s idea of how big a sandwich should be is very different than mine.
Roses are red vilouts are blue your moms beautiful what happened to you!
I think I really have an amazing butt. Every time I talk to someone and start walking off they say "what an ass.."
Statistics show that 3 out of 5 people.. aren`t the other 2.
If I had the money I`d hire 2 private investigators to follow each other
Of course you look good; I don`t have ugly friends.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
Q: What do you call apple-flavoured marijuana? A: iPot
Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It`s more like a jar of jalapeños. What you do today, can burn your a$$ tomorrow.
Sometimes, you wonder what the hell the music video has to do with the song.
Do you ever wake up and kiss someone next to you and appreciate being alive? I did this and was chased out of the bus
"Wow! That Lean Cuisine really filled me up!" ... said no one, ever.
You´re never too old to learn something stupid.
roses are red,violets are blue,god made me beautiful, what happen to you..
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.