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I have an inferiority complex, but it`s not a very good one.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
You must have been born on a highway. Most accidents take place there.
I bet spongebob will get his license before Taylor Swift finds love.
My imaginary friend is bullying me.
I used to like my neighbours, until they put a password on their Wi-Fi
Christmas tip: Wrap empty boxes and put them under the tree. Everytime your child acts up, throw one in the fireplace.
With all the technology available now, you’d think they’d have found a way to grow apples without those little stickers.
Be careful when you follow the masses. Sometimes the “M” is silent.
My GPS says "time of arrival" ... I see "time to beat."
When I said I wanted to take it slow, I meant your life.
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...