Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I once tried sniffing coke, but the ice cubes kept getting stuck up my nose.
How come when a girl has sex with everyone she`s a slut but when a guy has sex with everyone he`s my boyfriend
Let`s go to my place and do the things I`ll tell everyone we did anyway.
Girl: What color are my eyes? Guy: 34C
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I forget, on which side of my dinner plate am I supposed to set my phone?
If you attached a bunch of watches together to make a belt it would be a waist of time.
Sometimes late at night.. I dig a hole in the back yard by lantern light.. Sure keeps my nosy neighbors on their toes.. :|
When I go through an automated car wash I close my eyes, because it`s easier to pretend I`m in a car that way.
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
thumbs up if you pee on the side of the toilet to make it quiet.
It`s always quiet on here at the weekends, it`s like you people have lives or something...
I have my hesitations about Paradise City if the first thing you brag about is the color of the grass
Sorry I mixed 50,000 instant pudding packets into your above ground pool
I never think twice about helping others.In fact, I never think once about it.