Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Me putting up with you is your Christmas present.
I wish I would of asked if she believed in sex after marriage
Telling a girl to calm down is like trying to baptize a cat.
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
I always keep a spare pair of shoes at work that I change into so people don`t know it`s me when I`m taking a dump.
Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like..."dude, shouldn`t you be hanging out with people your own age?"
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
"I don`t see color." - A person who shouldn`t eat snow.
I think my smart phone is making fun of me behind my back.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
If your girlfriend says she`s going out to run some errands and comes back with 6 bags from the mall...You might be dating my wife.
Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty stomach and now I`m the proud owner of aisle 7.
*Hears a joke about a chocolate bar* *Snickers*
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?