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For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
At long last, I`ve finished my research into the effect alcohol has on physical movement.....The results were, quite frankly, staggering.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
Mad respect to people who can stop eating when they`re full.
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
If you were a Pokemon, I`d choose you.
The funniest thing about this Facebook status is by the time you realize it doesn`t say anything important, it`s to late for you to stop reading it ... sucker
A shark will only attack you if you’re wet.
Tired of those Political Ads on television?...... You may be entitled to compensation.
LOQ "Laugh Out Quietly" because LOL is giving me a headache
When is National Slap a Co-worker Day? ... Please say tomorrow
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
I`m surprised people still ask me if I want to hold their baby given the number of times I`ve dropped and shattered my phone
Don`t judge a person for drinking; judge a person for not drinking. Those f*ckers are up to something.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.