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My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don`t run into anyone you know
Memories of you make me look forward to alzheimers.
You don`t get to complain about life until you move out of your parent`s house.
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
I woke up hungover to the sound of my neighbor mowing the lawn. I figure he`ll just have to mow around me. I`m not moving.
I don`t think boredom gets enough blame for the trouble it causes.
I like to spend Monday morning trying to remember what I was avoiding doing at work on Friday.
I mean really though...Why wash cups when you can just drink out of the jug?
Nothing like a brisk morning jog to start the day! Just kidding! I don`t do that.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
A person soon learns how little they know when a child begins to ask questions.
Sometimes I wake up grumpy but sometimes I let her sleep instead..
If a zombie apocalypse were to happen in Vegas... would it stay in Vegas?
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.