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I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
People who are about to tell you something then say "never mind" are the reason why I sometimes admire serial killers
Being `clean and sober` means I`ve showered and I`m headed to the liquor store.
You hate me? I didn’t even know you existed.
Unless you discovered a dead body, I don`t want to hear about your morning jog.
You will never find the right person if you do not let go of the wrong one. Call me!
I dont mind if you call me Crazy, but dont you dare call me stupid. Because to be this crazy some intelligence is definitely required.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.
This day is going downhill faster than a wagon full of fat kids!
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
God gives us only what we can handle... Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass.
Not everything on CNN is fake news. Some of it is commercials.
The world would be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes...
Some people should come with subtitles.