Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can`t find happiness at the bottom of a beer ... Well no kidding, who is happy when their beer runs out.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
If it’s the thought that counts, then I should probably be in jail…
It`s bad luck to be superstitious.
It doesn’t matter how many signs I put up around the office, HR said high five a co-worker in the face with a shovel day isn’t a thing.
I hate when people say, "I gotta get my body right for the summer." ...like, wtf are you going to do about your face???
Sometimes, I`m offended at how easily offended some people get.
If that was me in the movie Taken, my dad would have missed the call and emailed me 3 days later asking if I have a job yet
If you can read this, you`re not having sex either.
You want me to smile? How can I smile when 28% of Americans aren`t getting enough fiber?
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?
Women- God’s version of a Rubik’s cube.