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The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
I wonder how long I can keep "eating for two" before people notice I`m not actually pregnant.
What happens on online stays online, forever and ever.
There are so many scams on the Internet now these days, but for $19.95 I can show you how to avoid them.
Why does life keep teaching me lessons I have no desire to learn?
I have the same thought when I watch horror flicks as when I watch my wedding videos. I should have known who the psycho was much sooner.
Your day sucked, huh? I`m sure Facebook would love to hear about it.
If I procrastinated any harder right now, it would have to involve time travel.
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they don’t make you a mix tape?
i dont like ling distance relationships so i move the fridge to my room
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
You can usually judge a women`s hotness by how many times your girlfriend calls her a whore.
If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair with them....its like expecting a lion not to eat you because you don`t eat lion.
Make librarians cry by calling it a Book Museum while taking pictures with your iPad.