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Never throw sunglasses in an argument. If they land perfectly on your opponent`s face there is no known comeback.
liked homework better when it was called coloring.
Who ever said technology will replace paper.....has obviously never tried wiping their a$$ with an IPAD.
We can`t all be princesses, somebody has to clap as I go by. :P
cofeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffeecoffee... Wheeeeeeeeee!
You never know what you have until..... you clean your room
Must be nice to get married and finally know who the number one suspect in your murder case will be
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
So can we just skip to summer now?
B!tch life isn`t a garden ... So stop being a hoe!
Love makes the world go round, but alcohol makes it go round twice as fast!
When I get a headache, I take 2 aspirins and keep away from children, just like the bottle says.
Vodka mixes well with everything, except decisions.
My wife asks me to remind her about stuff. That way if she forgets something, it`s my fault.
My Wife asked, "Would you like a romantic interlude?" I said, "Does a bear crap in the woods?". Wish I`d just said `Yes`, she`s been on Google ever since.