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" a fool and his money ----- are never around when you need a loan......"
Sticks and stones may break my bones but words... words might hurt me deeply, causing great emotional, mental, and psychological damage leading toward a lowered self-esteem and irregular bowel movements.
Racism, sexism and homophobia make no sense when there are so many perfectly good stupid people to hate.
“Knock him out.” – Mama
New Subway rule: You must give the person in front of you a wedgie if they take more than 5 seconds to choose what kind of bread they want.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn`t want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
People I hate are not allowed to be funny.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
My wife just changed here facebook status from "Married" to "widowed", should I be scared?
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
Do you think people will start blaming auto correct for there marriages breaking down?