Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
Reminiscing isnโt as fun as it used to be.
Sรถ รฎ hรจรฃrd รฟรดu lรฌkรช gรนรฟลก with รกcรงeรฑts?
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
No way the guy from Operation is insured for any of those ridiculous medical procedures.
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
Tip to get out of jury duty: Begin every answer with "According to the prophecy."
I`ve been around the block a few times, but then my neighbor realized I was drunk and helped me into my house.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Whoever invented the 5 day work week and 2 day weekend can suck my a**!
I believe in the silver rule of life: Do unto others then run!
I`m having an out of money experience.
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg and some days you`re that guy who hit the propeller on the way down.
Have you ever loved someone so much, you wanted to keep them hidden from the world and all to yourself? Well, apparently its called kidnapping
Men at 25 play football. Men at 40 play tennis. Men at 60 play golf. Have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?