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If I don`t `like` your post it`s because I don`t care...
Wisdom is understanding that a tomato is a fruit, but you don`t add it in a fruit salad.
Seems like Pizza Hut should be able to afford a house by now.
Apparently when a trainer asks you why you want to get in shape and you answer "revenge" it will raise a couple eyebrows.
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
It`s a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge.
For fun, I steal my married friends phones & change my name to `Brandy from the club` then repeatedly call them & hang up at 3am.
My girlfriend told me I`m starting to annoy her because I relate everything to batman... What a joker!
ME- I love it when you lay me down like that, the way you touch my belly and put cold things on me baby DOCTOR- Miss this is a medical examination and you are making me extremely uncomfortable
eHarmony has a 24 month plan. How ugly do you have to be to need 2 years to find someone?
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
Karma may "work" but I think that bitch takes a lot of days off
You ever notice that the number of extra steps a drunk takes getting home? ...its staggering!
Cop: Sir what is in the bottle next to you? Man: It`s water *hands the cop the bottle* Cop: Sir, this is wine. Man: Jesus did it again!