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Nipples: Nature`s thermometer.
If you look in the mirror and say "Taylor Swift" three times, she magically appears then breaks up with you. What do u know next? You`re a song!
Happy new years, my friends. Thanks for supporting the site, Ralf.
Hard work never killed anyone but why risk it?
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Women`s magazines are so funny. 1: You`re beautiful and perfect just the way you are! 2: How to lose 20 pounds in 10 days.
I glued the TV remote to my wife. I`m expecting her to go missing any second now.
You can`t always control who walks in to your life but you can control which window to throw them out.
There is a piece of aluminum foil blowing across the road and all I can think is that one of you is without your protective headgear today.
I like it here because not only do I get to air out my dirty laundry, I get to see yours too.
Nothing says "I love you" like my cat aggressively bathing itself immediately after I pet her.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
I suggest we drink before we go out drinking.
Call me old school, but I think your shorts should be longer than your private parts.
If cats could text you back, they wouldn`t.