Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Wanna know what it`s like being married? Chain yourself to a wild animal. Now kick the animal.
Do you suppose prison guards could use `PROACTIV` to prevent outbreaks?
Ever gotten that awkward feeling? ..like the one when you realize you`re chewing on a BORROWED pencil?
I like to reply to late night snapchat selfies with "what the f*&% is that behind you?!" just because I know the sender has no way to review the photo and will spend the rest of their night scared out of their minds.
Some idiots actually sold their homes and properties thinking the world was really going to end! What losers. I hope my boss gives me my job back on Monday
Have we considered putting Scooby Doo and the gang on the Malaysian airplane caper?
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Sometimes I get shivers in my spine just thinking about how much tougher Popeye would`ve been if he`d eaten fresh spinach instead of canned.
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
Bowling is my favorite sport because you don`t have to run and there`s beer five feet away.
Health care in this country is a disgrace. My doctor said run 3 miles a day for a month. I`m now completely lost & 90 miles away from home.
Space heaters are the perfect housewarming gifts.
If you enjoy being the 10,000th person to put your thumb into a hole, then bowling is for you.
The sun and I have an understanding. He gets up before I do.