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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
I just ended a long-term relationship today ... I’m ok though, it wasn’t mine.
trying to do something before the microwave is finished is sort of like trying to complete the countdown maths problem on countdown...
On a math test: 2+2 = ? Me: *Use calculator just in case
When I was a kid and was going to "get it" that was bad. Now I`m an adult and I`m going to "get it" :)
Do not drink and drive.. because there are people out there who text and drive... and they will hit you and it will be your fault !!
Eat whatever you want,and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight ...Eat them too..!
My favorite part of the movie The Notebook is where I turned it off and watched Terminator 2 instead.
When Life Gives You Lemons Don`t make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don`t want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?! Demand to see life`s manager! Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I`m the man who`s gonna burn your house down! With the lemons! I`m gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down!
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
The most dangerous drinking game is seeing how long I can go without coffee.
Sometimes I think I`m pretty cool but then I remember plants can eat sun and poop out air.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
If you love something, set it free. If it immediately bites your throat and drags you up a tree, you love a leopard and should try to escape.