Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The majority of life`s greatest lessons are learned while observing your drunk friends.
What do people mean when they say the computer went down on them?
I`m just here until I can make day drinking a full time job
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
The overspray from my windshield washer fluid just totaled a smart car.
Leave the past behind. Smile every day. Never wear underwear. I don`t know. Inspirational statuses are hard.
How many divorced guys does it take to change a lightbulb?...........Who cares, they NEVER get the house anyways
Whenever my wife sings I have to go outside. Not to get away from her, but to prove to my neighbors I`m not beating her.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
Knock knock... whos there? Cows go... Cows go who, No, cows go moo
If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
Greeting all the Single People a very Happy Independence Day!!
If we`re in a situation where I am the "voice of reason," then we are in a very very bad situation.
Monday morning coffee is just as important as friday night liquor....almost.