Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Pretending to tolerate other people is exhausting.
Look UPS guy, you can`t just show up at someone`s house unannounced and expect them to have pants on.
It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.
If your ever wondering who your real friends are all you have to do is delete your facebook account for about week without saying anything and see who calls
You think you are too small to make a difference? then you have never spent a single night with a mosquito.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
I bet Waldo`s parents are worried sick.
Watching MTV Cribs makes me feel better about downloading music off the internet.
My car rides usually consist of playing my music on random, then pressing “next” about 400 times.
When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $4.95 a minute.
If you feel like you’re about to punch someone, take a deep breath. Then exhale as you punch to get more power.
I bet if we all threw our problems into a big pile, we’d see everyone else’s and scramble to get ours back.
I like to think that people that unfriend me wake up months later regretting that irreversible and life altering decision.
My car broke down outside Pizza Hut last night. So I ordered a pizza to be delivered to my house and got a lift from the driver.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.