Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Just saw a cop pull over a U-Haul truck. I think he is trying to bust a move.
If you`re going to be a smartass, you must first be smart. Otherwise, you`re just an ass.
Did you know that if you put a finger in your ear and scratch, it sounds like Pacman.
I`m just doing what the beer tells me to.
Why do people have to get ready for bed? I`m always ready for bed.
My date just saved me tons of money by simply saying, "no, I don`t want to be your valentine and stop texting me!"
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
My Life Alert bracelet says.....: I`m Just Napping
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
Drink coffee! ... Do stupid things faster with more energy.
Posting a status update before responding to someone`s text is the easiest way to let them know how unimportant they are.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
Please don`t come to my garage sale if you`ve ever let me borrow something.
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. Iām feeling pretty awesome!!