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Yes I have a dirty mind ... And you`re on it!
You`re so dumb you have to get naked to count to 21.
My husband is not allowed to help with math anymore. Apperently 4 = 6.5 in his reality.
Like medicine, some people should only be allowed to talk in doses. Like 30 sentences three times a day.
If you were home alone in the middle of the night, and you heard a fart, would you laugh or be scared.
The hardest part about being humble is not telling people how much better I am than they are.
The last time I touched a breast, it was in a KFC bucket.
Multitasking? Iām not even good at unitasking.
I`ve been working on losing weight, I was doing Jenny Craig for awhile........till her husband found out (<>..<>)
If you`re already in the cop car, I really can`t see how puking in it could make things any worse.
When you`re a kid, you hate those moments when there is absolutely nothing to do. As an adult, you live for them.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
Boobs are to men what light bulbs are to moths.
Sometimes when I`m home alone I like to fill my bathtub with spaghetti and pretend I`m a meatball.!
If you needed to wear camouflage in a gingerbread house, would you wear ginger snaps?