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This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
Have you ever looked at your ex and wondered...WAS I drunk the whole time?
I just watched a puppy do something really cute. It was like a real life YouTube video.
with great power...comes great electric bill...
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Not every flower can say love...but a rose did. Not every plant can survive thirst...but a cactus did. Not every idiot can read, but look at you go!!!! lol
I hate being bi-polar. It`s awesome.
College is expensive, BUT your student ID saves $3 at the movies. So really it pays for itself if you go to the theater 30,000 times.
Last night a movie theatre was robbed of $1000. The thieves took one large bag of popcorn, a combo meal, and a box of milk duds.
If you try to fail but you succeed which have you done?
I was voted `Most Paranoid` by my classmates at school. Although they never admitted it.
How come they didn`t call this years game the BUD bowl?
Dear whoever ate my fries while I was in the ball pit at McDonalds... Not funny, grow up.
If I`m your emergency contact, for your sake, I hope that hospital sends texts too.