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When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
The easiest way to find out if a movie is on Netflix is to simply ask yourself "do I want to see it?" If you do, it`s not on Netflix.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
Who has time to monitor followers/unfollowers? I can barely keep track of my kids and I only have 1 of those ... Wait ... Two. I have 2 kids.
Why is it when people ask you "what three things would you bring with you on a deserted island?" , no one ever replies, "A BOAT"
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
If I drop my food on a plane, and we change time zones at the same time, do I receive an additional hour to the 5 second rule?
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol at my house may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
A sheep spends it`s entire life fearing the wolf only to be eaten by the Shepherd.
Where is the button to restart summer?
They say milk is good for your teeth..you know what else is good for your teeth..minding your own damn buisness