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I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
Iām tired of things costing money.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
Everyone is gifted......But not everyone opens their present
pumpkin for sale, slightly used
I have this empty feeling inside of me. Wait, there`s my drink.
My boyfriend woke up this morning with a huge smile on his face. I love sharpies
So my kid secretly recorded me driving and singing and put it on social media if you needed to know how important birth control is today.
I hate it when people upload song lyrics as their status`s it reminds me of somebody i used to know
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
Im still waiting for Anheuser-Bush to name a beer "responsibly" so i can drink it!