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Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Change is always hard.... Especially when a jar of it falls on your head.
So far I`m 0 for 276 for walking around the block in hopes of finding a bag of money on the side of the road.
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents. The second half will be ruined by our children
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
My clothes are 75% off and this is not a sale.
Even if your not successful in life , You are guaranteed to get two certificates
Home: Where I can look ugly and enjoy it.
u cant spell awesome without me
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
I’m trisexual, as in, I’ll try to have sex with you.
The Olympians stories are amazing! The Ukrainian whose family was killed, the Korean who escaped slavery, the American who never had wifi.
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.