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No one’s going to do it for you. It’s up to just you to make naps a priority in your life.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
Whoever said money can’t buy happiness didn’t know where to shop and where to spend it
I dont think McDonald`s french fries are real food. Just found one under my car seat from two months ago and it looked perfect ... Tasted fine, too.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Is it wrong to drop off drunks at houses that aren`t theirs?
On average I spend $75 a year to watch bananas turn brown.
A boob job sounds like the best job in the world.
My Ex-Wife: Our relationship is like being in prison! ME: I don’t think so. People have sex in prison.
If you eat doughnuts fast enough your Fitbit thinks you`re walking.
To save time, lets just assume I am never wrong ;)
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
If you find a four-leaf clover it means you have entirely too much time on your hands.
Is professional lollygagger an actual job yet?
Before Walmart you had to buy a ticket to the fair to see a bearded lady!