Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don`t ever know where I`m at till I`m there
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of of there would make him gay, haha problem solved ....
Wedding: The really expensive party taking place relatively 5-10 years before your divorce.
"They Dared Me To" should be a legitimate excuse in a Court of Law.
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
FACT: Candy corn is made out of melted down traffic cones.
Women come in two types: batsiht crazy and hot enough to ignore the batsiht crazy…
You don`t have to dress like you`re a handbag, unless you are Lady Gaga.
iPhone 6: For people who don`t mind holding an iPad up to their ear.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
In life, you only need two tools - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn`t move but should, use the WD-40. If it should not move and does, use the duct tape
Don`t blame me, I was born awesome ;)
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.
Are walruses just vampire manatees?