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I just called. To say. I texted you.
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Crap, my Internet has been down for 4 days ...Probably because my neighbors moved 4 days ago.
Remember the good old days when LOL meant "Laugh out loud" and not "I can`t think of a good reply"?
I wish more of my handcuff stories involved sex instead of police officers.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
My predictive text dictionary doesn’t have “tsunami”, so if you ever get a text from me that says “trumang” start running.
I didn`t break the rules. They were broken when I got here.
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
I like dressing in a red polo shirt then going to Target & being rude to costumers
If I could time-travel, forget killing baby Hitler. I`d go back to use every come back I ever thought of 10 minutes too late.
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...
I hope daylight savings time hasn`t thrown you off your schedule of doing nothing.