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scream outloud and really fast "I won a math debate"
Seriously, ladies. If you just stop sleeping with douchebags eventually their species will go extinct. Look at the big picture here.
I`ve never been as disappointed as my dog just was when she realized the food I dropped was a carrot.
I`m not a psychologist,,, but I remember when a Hot Wheels track magically cured 80% of ADHD
Next time you are sad remember you can make a cheeseburger with donuts as the bun. Still sad? Add Sprinkles
Sorry I can’t make it to your party tonight. I have to get up really early tomorrow afternoon.
Thesaurus for sale, brand new, current, modern, original, unused, untapped, fresh, pristine, untouched, mint condition, spotless, untried...
I don’t necessarily enjoy being the bad influence…but hey, somebody has to do it!
Nothing ruins hump day like not getting humped.
The longest yard for me is that space between me and the nacho dip
Some people come into our lives & leave footprints on our hearts. Others come into our lives & make us wanna leave footprints on their face.
You know what would make my cubicle super cute? Fire.
They say that money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
I used to be a kleptomaniac but now I take something for it.
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question