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The roof of my mouth just healed from that Hot Pocket I had in 2003.
I stamp my hand on Saturday morning so it looks like I went out on Friday night.
Whenever our neighbor`s dog is barking, I know there`s either someone at their door or literally anything else in the universe has happened.
If you love someone , let them go. If they dont come back, call them up later when your drunk and see wtf is going on.
Wife: I wish we could have sex like we used to... Husband: Do you mean with other people?
I`m just a boy...standing in front of a girl...asking her to lov.....aw who am I trying to fool. I just want in your pants.
I don`t always say I`m never drinking again, but when I do, I`m a f*cking liar.
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
I do not argue, I explain why Iām right.
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really fast
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
All those years of getting horrible elementary school pictures was just society`s way of preparing you for your driver`s license photo.
People born in 1994-1999 have lived in three decades, two centuries, and two millenniums. & they are not even 18 yet.
Knowledge is power, and power corrupts. So study hard and be evil.
"Stop, Drop, and Roll" is not JUST an effective fire safety technique, but also a very memorable way of getting out of a boring conversation. :P