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Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
I`ve single handedly defeated my erection.
If it`s true that we are here on earth to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
Weekends are like a orgasm.. It`s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do it`s over in no time
I can’t find the words to express how I have nothing to say
9 out of 10 times, if you call the 1-800 number printed on a consumer product, the person who answers won`t tell you what they`re wearing.
How come dogs aren’t ticklish?
How much time has to pass before grave robbing is considered archaeology?
You posted a drunk selfie last night at 2:04 AM and then deleted it five minutes later. But I took a screenshot. Let`s negotiate.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
I think 90% of the software on my computer doesn`t do anything except send me notices that there`s a new version of it!
You know what I just realized that in school they teach you not to do what you don`t want to do yet they still give us homework and we get in trouble because we didn`t want to do it ( confused )
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..