Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Getting to bed early so I can be well rested and fully alert for my morning anxiety.
If life is unfair to everyone, doesn’t that make life fair?
A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?
A fun thing to do is comment "that ain`t the girl you were with at the bar the other night" on all my married friends Facebook family photos
Didn`t win the lotto again ... send prayers.
Could you imagine if guys commented on their guy friends` profiles the way girls do? "Bro, you look so handsome" "Looking hot, man!" "OMG, your jawline is cray" "Ugh, how are you this perfect dude? I`m jelly" "sexy much?!"
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
I hate it when I get too drunk and just kidding I never hate getting drunk!
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
A high-pressure hose will usually stop a coworker from showing you any more baby photos.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
Whoever invented grass must be a billionaire that stuff is everywhere
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as “that weird thing I did for a while.”
Gluten free. Dairy free. Fat Free. I love the wine diet!