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I`m sorry I slapped you. It`s just you seemed like you weren`t going to stop talking and I panicked.
When someone is in a bad mood, I like to help matters by pointing out several times that they seem to be in a bad mood.
I didn´t outsmart you. You just outdumbed me.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
I need a vacation ... or this fifth of Jack -Me at the liqiour store
In paintball, you should be allowed to use a paintbrush as a knife.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Don’t you hate when the whole bus is empty, but some guy sits right next to you? I know you do. That’s why I do it.
The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts while the stupid ones are full of confidence.
It’s actually the voices outside my head that bothers me the most
If you don`t leave a buffet looking like someone told you bad news you didn`t get your money`s worth.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
I think my new Stress Management plan is going to be alcoholism.
I started drinking a little early. Yesterday, to be more precise.
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...