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Do stupid people ever hit a point in their life, where they realize they’re stupid?
Has anyone EVER checked to see how the room or wall behind them looks before taking and posting 50 selfies?!
I really hate it when people need constant re-assurance. You know what I mean?
No one needs a vacation from me more than me.
I’m so broke this New Years Im gonna party like its $19.99.
I can relate to Alice in Wonderland. She just keeps randomly eating and drinking with the hope that it might magically solve her problems.
Give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate.
My girlfriend left the lights on, on her Smart Car last night. This morning I had to jump start it with my Android.
I hate driving so much that I even ring for taxis on grand theft auto.
When someone says "Happy New Years" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?
I bought 2 fish and named one, “one” and the other “two”, so when “one” dies I will still have “two”.
“I need to stop,” I whispered as I clicked next episode.
Just ate a sleeve of crackers on my wife`s side of the bed.. I`ll let you know...
Back in the day, Mom gave us two dinner choices. What she cooked or jack sh!t....
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade"