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Explain to me the down side of being under house arrest.
I’ve thought long and hard, and have decided on my New Year’s resolution ... 1024×768.
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
Do you like me? Breathe for yes, lick your elbow for no.
When I woke up this morning everything in my house had been stolen and replaced with exact replicas... WEIRD..
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
What flickering lights mean: 1% electrical problem 99% demons.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
How strict is the "I licked it, it`s mine" policy? There`s some things I`ve licked that I don`t want.
The Ex is bringing my kids back home. Time to strategically place the panties I bought from Victoria`s secret around the house.
Some days the problem is I care too much… Today was not one of those days…
I just don`t think a partridge in a pear tree would make a great gift
If you never jumped from sofa to sofa as a kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!