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i hate not being able to correct the typo i just made in my previous statues update......DAMN IT! I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
Standing up: Wow, I`m actually kind of skinny. Sitting down: Okay, maybe not..
Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don`t get. Those who do are smiling right now.
I did not trip...the floor looked like it needed a hug.
Nothing says "party" like a red plastic cup.
I think I`m gonna glue my thumbs to my nipples and pretend I`m a T-Rex.
Show me, on this cat calendar, how long it`s been since you`ve had a date?
My swear jar has more money in it than my bank account.
Not to brag, but Netflix recommends certain movies just for me.
I just found out that all the people who say "You haven`t changed a bit" have been lying to me. :)
Happy Monday!! I`m gonna sit this one out.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Driving isn`t even in the top 5 things I`m thinking about when I`m driving.
People who over-exaggerate make me so mad that I just want to light everyone on fire.
I like to skip when I`m carrying my flamethrower cause no one ever suspects a skipping girl of starting fires.