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Life is harder for the beautiful people. I’m sorry you’ll never know.
Due to inflation, a picture is now only worth 700 words.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
"My name is Robert and I support apples." -- Bob for apples
Without stupid people we would have no one to laugh at.
I`m selling my browser history on eBay before the government does.
Sometimes I like to hold the door for people who are far away so they feel obligated to run just a little. ;)
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss, you and your motivational crap is far away
Sorry I missed your call. I took too long to answer because I was dancing to the ringtone.
I`m so bitchy right now ... I won`t even talk to myself!!
who`s smart idea wus it to name a monkey Donkey Kong??
Just been on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies. Is that a trick question?
You should never answer your phone during sex, particularly if it`s your wife calling.
Every time I make plans to eat better I can hear my stomach laughing